At the request of Joan's mother, and many others, here is a current picture of me. This is from New Year's when I was out painting the town red with some friend's. Sorry it took so long Joan!

Broken Cartilage

This is a random little update. Two months ago I had a freak accident with my dog, Gus. Through a series of random events he slammed into my chest at full speed. 60lbs. of Golden Retriever slamming into any one's chest would hurt, so slamming into a rib cage that is still recovering from a transplant surgery REALLY hurt. It completely knocked the wind out of me and I went down like a sack of potatoes. Everyone was very worried about my lungs, hoping nothing had happened to them. I got examined and x-rayed and it was determined that my lungs were fine and I had probably bruised some cartilage.

Well two months later I was still having intense pain and could not sleep because the pain about doubled when I tried lay down, I knew something was going on. (Not to mention I was slowly beginning to go insane from sleep deprivation.) So I made and appointment with my pain doctor for while I was up here in Seattle. Turns out my cartilage isn't bruised, it is BROKEN. Ouch.

The Doc' gave me a big lidocain injection (which hurt like a mother f---er) but helped a lot with the pain. I just have to give it time to heal (which will take FOREVER because I am prednisone. Prednisone is an anti-inflammatory , so it has basically obliterated any inflammation in the body. (I am on this drug as part of my cocktail of meds to prevent rejection of my new organs) the thing is, you need inflammation for cartilage to heal, because that is what triggers the growth of new tissue to heal the brake.) Sooo, that is why it is going to take forever to heal, because my inflammatory process is interrupted by the prednisone.

So broken cartilage obviously sucks, but I am very, very glad that the pain has nothing to do with my lungs.

ONE YEAR!!

Today is my one year anniversary for my transplant!!!!!!

There are many, many things swirling around in my head today. Even after a year I still can't quite wrap my head around this whole beautiful madness of transplant.

I have been thinking a lot about my donor's family this week. While I celebrate being alive and looking at my future, I know my donor's family is feeling the pain of this being the first year with out their daughter, sister, wife, friend, or mother. It is not that I feel guilty, even though I was so desperately hoping for new lungs, I had no actual control over who my donor would be. Still, it is a never ending psychological and philosophical chase and train of thought of how this cycle of life with in the transplant world works.

My heart goes out to them especially today. I hope knowing that her heart is still beating, that her lungs are still breathing, that her liver is still filtering, and that her body is helping so many other people, can offer some kind of comfort too them.

As y'all know this has been a rough year. Having a transplant is super intense just by itself, but then I had a handful of other unforeseen speed bumps disrupting my recovery. I am not out of the woods yet, but I venture to say that I am doing the best I have since my second operation in September. I really, really hope I can transition into a steady and strong regaining of strength from here. I am no where near where I thought I would be at the one year mark, but nothing ever goes as planned now does it? ;) I continue to push ahead, but I also can't help peeking around corners before I walk forward, making sure there is nothing else huge lurking in the shadows waiting jump out and get me. I have had the rug ripped out from under me too many times.

So, the sun is out (I am in Seattle house sitting for Ted and Rosanne) since sun this time of year is rare, I would like to think it is out and shining some for me on this special and significant day. I celebrate this evening with my friend Lisa, who is also a cystic fibrosis patient and had a double lung transplant 3 years ago. When I get home next week I will have a belated celebration in Eugene.

I have a question for you all that me and my folks have been pondering. I was transplanted last year Monday, February 16 on Presidents Day. So obviously February 16th is on a Tuesday this year, but President's Day is still on Monday, and always will be. So is my anniversary the 16th or is t President's Day? Or do I get both? Let me know what you think.

Thank you to EVERYONE who gave their love and support to us last year. We could not have done this with out our family, friends, and broad support group mad up of so many amazing people!! I have so much love for you all. Thank you.

xoxo,

emily